Clear Heels

There have been a LOT of outrageous platforms on the runways and in stores these past couple seasons, but when it comes to this spring's trend of lucite heels, it might be a good idea to take some advice from an very unlikely source.

Whenever I see a pair of clear heels, I think of Chris Rock's bit (in Never Scared) about clear heels being the official uniform of strippers. Even a little bit of lucite is very difficult to pull off, and it seems have shown up at every label from Nine West to Gucci.

Brian Atwood: Well, his website's background music is "Let Me Entertain You", so I think the stripper (or at least burlesque dancer) connection may be intentional. These may be the best clear heels of the bunch. (available at Saks Fifth Avenue if you must.)

Nine West: These chunky lovelies combine the two trashiest materials for shoes - white patent leather and lucite. Fabulous.

Stuart Weitzman: More clear wedges, although these are a little more flattering to the foot. The metallic silver is another big trend for spring - but please don't combine it with lucite. If necessary, you can get them at Neiman Marcus (but why?).

Prada: Not even Miuccia could make lucite work (although this shoe would be gorgeous if the heel was patent - the shape is right on the mark). Also at Neiman Marcus.

Donna Karan: Another designer that couldn't make the clear heels work. These are possibly even less flattering than the Nine West numbers due to the ankle strap.

Consider this a fair warning if you plan to rock the clear heels this spring - it takes some serious styling skills to rock the lucite.